Love a Stranger

Over the weekend, our neighbors had some friends of theirs move into their basement. A young couple with an almost 2 year old, were unpacking their very modest collection of things, and were moving into a 300 sqft basement. I am not even sure if this basement is more than cold cement. Bryant and I were sitting out on our patio and overheard bits and pieces of their story and it broke us. Their financial struggle was at a place that I found unimaginable, and watching their toddler play in the grass brought it all to another level.

Bryant and I decided we’d pick up a giftcard for them, not really knowing exactly how they were brought to this place, but not really feeling like the details were important. I did that on Monday, and had it sitting on the counter for a few days. I had tried making small conversation with the wife whenever she was outside, and was trying to just know her better before I gave it to her. On Wednesday, I just decided to walk over there and give it to her. I had been struggling with how she would respond, or if she would consider it offensive. I didn’t want it to be an intrusion of privacy or come off like we were looking down on them; but, on Wednesday, I had a moment where I accepted that my intentions may not be understood, but I needed to just do it anyway.

I walked out my front door and across the street and said “I really hope this isn’t awkward, or makes you feel uncomfortable, but my husband and I overheard a bit of what your family is going through, and we just wanted to say we are happy to have you here, and do something nice for you.” I handed it to her, and she said thank you, and shared a bit about how they ended up without a house, and I just listened and formally introduced myself and then came back home.

About 10 minutes later, there was a knock on my front door. I opened it and she was standing there sobbing. I hugged her, and she told me that it was her 25th birthday. She said she was out of diapers and food, and had been crying about it being her birthday and feeling overwhelmed by what they were going to do. Lots of tears were exchanged on my front porch.

I’m telling this story not to get praise or high fives. I’m telling it because I’m not sure how you can be a witness to this and not see God’s incredible timing. I didn’t know it was her birthday. I didn’t know very much about them at all, but I just suddenly got up enough courage to go over there. It was a fleeting moment of courage too. I think I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water or something, saw it sitting there, and just decided to do it already.

My faith was encouraged by the vulnerability that was exposed on my front porch yesterday. She told me that I was rare, and I felt my spirit send up a prayer. That moments like these wouldn’t be so rare; not just in my own life, but as humans. That we, as a collective community of people wouldn’t rarely help others, but that we would make it a habit.

Do something nice for someone today. Pull your neighbors weeds, or buy the stranger behind you a cup of coffee. It makes a difference.

{Wordless} Wednesday

IMG_0951{Mother’s Day}

IMG_0958{Mom’s Day Trip to Lowe’s Garden Center}

IMG_0962{Finishing the day off with a glass (or two) or wine}

Stop Being Mean

It has been awhile since I ranted about something, so I guess I was due.

I saw a lot of tweets from other mothers on twitter that were really whiney and complaining. Tweets about how their husbands were just as selfish as usual, or about how their kid didn’t sleep just to spite them. I saw comments about how their husband’s were playing video games, or didn’t even think to take the trash out. Tweet after tweet, and I am not even exaggerating.

It made me sad at first. Sad that these Mom’s didn’t feel recognized, but then, my sadness, turned into anger because seriously?! Why are you complaining on Twitter about your ‘awful’ husband? It was classless. It was disrespectful towards their relationships. It was incredibly petty.

I will admit that I want some recognition on Mother’s Day, but for the love of all things holy, stop your bitching on Twitter!

If you want your husband to love you, love him back, and showing him love should not come in the form of selfish tweets about how pissed you are at him for sitting on the couch. I think this might be common sense, but in case it isn’t, put your damn phone down and go talk to him about how you feel. Stop telling a bunch of strangers what an asshole your spouse is, and try working on your relationships.

My heart hurt for fathers, because these mothers were absolutely terrible. I know that being a Mom is demanding. I know that it is hard work, and I know how nice it feels when your sleepless nights, and hours of loving/entertaining/teaching/caring/disciplining are recognized. Trust me, I really do get it. However, typing out your frustrations on social media is such a sad way to get the attention that you believe you deserve.

If you didn’t get the Mother’s Day that you hoped for, I am sorry. Set your expectations lower next year, and maybe communicate to your partner what you need from him. I have found that telling my loving husband that I really need to sleep in, is a much better way of communicating than saying passive aggressive things about how tired I am. I choose not to tweet (or blog) anything negative about my husband. That does not mean that we are perfect, it just means that I respect him enough to talk to him, rather than humiliate him.

My Twitter timeline made me very sad. We need to set a better example for our children, and that does not mean making a bad example of your child’s father. Mother’s Day, in the grand scheme of things, is just one day, and if you were unhappy with how it turned out, my guess is that you have some deeper issues that need to be talked about.

I am not an expert on marriage or mothering, but I know enough to say this:

Stop being so mean to your spouses. It’s selfish, and makes you look stupid. If you are unhappy, talk to them about it, don’t talk to Twitter about it. I don’t have any interest in reading it, and I don’t like the idea of Twitter becoming a place that is so disgusting and disrespectful.

 

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