I know, you are sitting there all shocked thinking “what! She hasn’t left her baby yet!?” I have. Like, twice. Well…ok, like four times, but only two of those times did I leave Kinsey with someone other than her father, and those somebodies were my parents. I went and got coffee when I was in Colorado with a friend, and was gone for like 3 hours. Then, when Kinsey was 3ish week’s old, my parents were in New Jersey and Bryant and I went to dinner. We were gone for an hour. We were 2 blocks away. I know it. I KNOW.
Here is the thing. We spend time together, just the two of us, every single night after Kinsey goes to bed. So, it’s not like we have been ignoring each other for months. Bryant works late…it is rare that he is home before 7pm. Kinsey goes to bed between 7-7:30pm, so his time with her is on the weekends. So, we have never really tried to schedule in a date night and get a babysitter because…well…we love our baby.
So. That changes this week. On Friday, Bryant and I will be celebrating our 4 year wedding anniversary. It also marks 8 years of life together, and we are going out. I asked a couple from our House Church if they would babysit for us. She is an occupational therapist…that works solely with babies! I am not at all worried about her credentials. But, last night, I had nightmares about my house starting on fire while I was at dinner. Which then suddenly turned into another dream that involved my baby being left in the middle of the ocean on a surfboard. I am seriously disturbed.
I know it will take just one time of things going smoothly for me to realize that we can do things like this more often. But, I have to get through this one time. I want to spend time with just my husband, out, in public. I really do. And, Bryant knows that I am pretty stressed out about all things related to Kinsey, so, I think he is expecting me to freak out a bit. I STILL creep into her bedroom and hover over her like a weirdo night stalker, staring to make sure I see her chest moving. I am THAT mother. When I first told Bryant that I got a babysitter, he said “we need to get another cell phone, preferably on a different carrier in case Verizon goes down.” It made me feel better. To know, that my husband, even in his joking, can relate a little bit to my anxiety…well, it helps.
When did you first leave your babies’ at home with a babysitter that was not blood related? Am I totally nuts? Make me feel better please.
You are NOT nuts!
I’ve never left my babies very much when they were tiny either. I think I started leaving them for a few hours when they were ~3 months old to go get a haircut or something, but that was with Rob. I think we started with babysitters around 6 months old? (This doesn’t count Grace; I was working when she was a baby.) I still have never been away from Violet or Lewis overnight. We just never felt a strong need to GET AWAY FROM THE BABY, you know? We like being with our kids.
However, you are also not nuts if you go out and have a great time and feel great about it! As we’re emerging from the baby phase with Lewis, we are trying to be more deliberate about date nights once a month or so. I’m not sure when we’ll be able to get somebody else to put him to bed for the night, though…
Thank you Julia. I think a huge part of it too, is we had our time together. We dated for almost 4 years before we got married, have been married for 4…we like family time. I’ve never been the type that has to “go out” in order to feel special. I feel just as great about our time together if its at home with a bottle of wine and movie.
I like to keep Kinsey close…I think I have this feeling that if she feels safe and feels like I am there for her, then as she gets older, she won’t have to worry about whether she can trust me? I don’t know if that is even something a 5 month old is aware of, but whatever
Thank you for the encouragement. It helps.
He’s 8 1/2 months old and still no babysitter.
Haha. Oh, Becky. Y’all need to get out at least once before number 2 comes along!
The first time that Eli was with someone that wasn’t family was after his first birthday. I was her daughter’s teacher, so I knew her really well. Even now (He’s nearly 2 1/2), and his preschool teacher and the other mama have been the only non-blood related family members I have left him with.
I don’t count Sunday school because we are in the building and am a few steps away.
We are really lucky to have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who are available most of the time…Then again, we don’t go on as many dates as we should.
But finding a great babysitter is worth his/her weight in gold! Good luck! A night out before baby number 2 gets her will be a relaxing and fun
I’m hoping I go and realize its way easy so we can do it more frequently. But, it’s definitely making me feel better realizing that I am in the norm. Date nights are hard.
Date nights are really hard. I totally get why they’re important, but then again I feel like they’re only little for such a short amount of time. The husband and I work a lot. We miss our kiddo.
You and me, girl! We are SO in the same boat!
Everyone is like this with their first baby! Unfortunately I had to go back to school after I had Danika, but I remember the feelings! Now that I have two, it takes most of all day every day trying not to pull my hair out! I love my babies but I am now A-OK with leaving them with a sitter. It is just so hard when they are infants and breastfeeding! Once she gets a little older, it’ll be easier than it is now, but still hard!
Breastfeeding is DEFINITELY a huge part of it. It can be so unpredictable and I’m always nervous. What if she rejects the bottle? Hits a ravenous growth spurt? It’s silly…but I always assume the unlikely
I’m THAT mom too lol!! My little one is almost 6 months old and will have his very first babysitter next week. I’m looking forward to a date night with my husband but still feel very anxious (and guilty) about it
I totally feel you! It’s hard to leave them! I’m sure once she hits the terrible 2′s, I won’t feel that way.