An old friend of mine (not really that old, but I’ve always wanted to say “she’s an old friend”) and I were facebook messaging eachother the other day when she asked that I talk about my marriage some more on my blog. So here is goes.

Has anyone noticed how completely ridiculous the movies are these days? Seriously? Has anyone really thought about this? I remember in middle school and high school always racing to the movie theaters to catch the latest Reese Witherspoon or Julia Roberts romantic comedy but since I’ve grown up (or maybe this really is just recently) I’ve wanted to vomit watching the previews. I understand that its not real, but really?!

Heres my list of 2008-2009 WOST romantic comedies:

1) the Ugly Truth

2) Confessions of a Shopaholic

3) Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

4) Definitely, Maybe.

Bored. Disgusted. Nausea. Bryant is happy that I’d rather not watch these movies, because I get to spare him the pain and agony of watching people run completely on emotion (and he doesn’t have to deal with me being all gooey and mushy).

I have a theory. Its not really my theory, but I’ll call it my theory for the sake of making this post personal. I believe that love is a choice. Not a feeling, not an emotion, its a choice. People can “feel” like they are in love, but that feeling isn’t constant. You can’t trust your feelings because they are always changing. I can trust commitment. I can trust choice. I can trust that when I say that I will choose to love someone everyday, I’m making a bigger vow then saying I’ll keep the feeling of love alive. C.S. Lewis talks about love as a choice, and because of your will you can endure good times and bad times, choosing to love eachother regardless.

I think that once we put ourselves aside and start to choose to love eachother unconditionally, that is where the romance comes in. How exciting is it to choose to love someone everyday for the rest of your life? Recently, I read the book “Redeeming Love” again by Francine Rivers. Its one of my favorites, and I wanted to read it now that I have my very own Michael Hosea. If you haven’t read this book, you should because what makes this book different is that its not really about love at all. Its about redemption, and choice. Michael Hosea chooses to love her regardless of how much she rejects him.

Why isn’t this book a movie? I think I need to start an online petition-who’s with me?

These videos completely blow my mind. Seriously.

This blog is not about my job or about me trying to remember to be joyful. This is about marriage. I’m trying to open up a bit on here and show my readers more of “me” so here it goes…

Last week, Bryant and I were really ticking each other off. I’m not really sure why, but it was the first real week in the history of being married that we wanted to punch each other consistently for 3 days straight. I was mad because he didn’t buy me woman products at the grocery store, he was mad that I was mad at him for not buying me woman products at the grocery store. I was mad that I picked up his dry cleaning for him yet he still didn’t buy me my woman products on his 2nd trip to the grocery store. He was mad that I was still mad about the things that he forgot when he went to the grocery store. The whole thing was really stupid, but at the end of it all I realized the importance of being a team.

In a marriage, it’s about more that just saying that you will be together, support each other, and love eachother-your also making a commitment to being a team player. Growing up, I played a lot of soccer-most of my happy childhood memories come from the many soccer practices and weekend games that filled up my free time. The biggest challenge in playing soccer isn’t the skill-it isn’t how you handle the ball, or how well you can shoot on target, or how fast you can run, the challenge is learning how to play with your team. If you can’t play as a team, if you can’t get past the notion that you are on your own and can do it yourself, you will never win and your team will never win. Marriage is about passing, its about giving and getting, its about learning to play together and facing the opponent together-as a team.

I’m learning how to be an equal player. I’m learning how to fight fairly and how to pass the ball back. I can’t do life on my own and the only way that I can face challenges is if I learn how to make my marriage a team effort. Bryant and I together, learning and fighting and growing and passing, and God showing us which way to run.